Monday, May 3, 2010
Teaching our little girls to hate themselves
I was VERY fortunate in having a mother who never said I had "good hair", or perpetuated any misguided notion that only a certain type of hair was more acceptable than another. Never heard anything disparaging about tighter textures, nor did I hear anything complimentary concerning looser textures. She only relished in my hair's health and growth.
But more and more, I hear second-hand stories concerning mothers telling their children if their hair was like this(anything that is looser or curly/wavy), it would be "pretty" or manageable, or whatever descriptor you want to add that would make someone feel slightly less than.
I'm not going to tell any mother how to raise their kids, as I have none. But PLEASE be mindful of the messages you're sending your children because believe it or not, they are much smarter than we give them credit for. Any feelings of inadequacies on your/our behalf can be felt and transferred onto them. So if you have or hold disdain for the hair that grows out of your scalp or the skin you're in, they see it. They feel it. They internalize it, and they later perpetuate it.
Self-love. We need to reinforce the importance of this. We need to let our daughters know they're beautiful NOW before they seek that positive reinforcement via other means. Start early. Start now. But more importantly, learn to love yourself and all of your perceived imperfections because make no mistake, there were NO mistakes in how you were made. Embrace your unique and beautiful self so that your daughters can do the same. :)